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“When I, as a visually impaired person, marry a normal man, that person is a ‘developer.’ Then who am I? Why not normalize our relationship?”
This was one of the questions women with disabilities opened up about their desires, sexuality, and experiences, while also adding how inclusion is still a distant dream, into the discussion. In the session, titled “Inclusive Associations for Women with Disabilities” at Dar Dosti recently, smiling faces slowly peeled back layers of their suffering, talking about the visible and invisible barriers to living a normal life.
For example, when Darshana Ramjiri started therapy seven years ago, one of the first questions she was asked was, What would you like to do? As a teenager, her quick response was, “Makeup.”
Today, she can do that. Not only that, she is a YouTuber and fashion talk show creator.
For this young woman, who is disabled by cerebral palsy, putting on makeup was a defining moment in her life. “I thought it was possible. I enjoyed it. When she first asked me if I could do her makeup, I said, ‘Why not?’” said Pretty Engi, an occupational therapist who has been with NGO Omid for 17 years.
A young female bank employee with a visual impairment recounted how society viewed her relationship with her husband as abnormal. “People wondered how someone of perfect physique could pair up with someone with such a disability. There were two typical reactions – ‘Oh, what a godly soul, Devta!’ Then who am I? Raksha? The other class of people felt it. He should marry me because I was born rich.No one thought about compatibility and I wondered.Why can’t disabled people be normalised.
Participants talked about how the disability was exacerbated by their gender, and how their experiences as women were much worse, whether it was related to sexuality, desire, health or rehabilitation.
1.5 million suffer from spinal injuries, capital India
For Dr. Ketna Mehta, it is appalling that as a country with more than 1.5 million people with spinal injuries, “something as basic as a scoop stretcher is missing from public awareness and infrastructure.” Disabled in a spinal accident, she has been campaigning for the rights of those who have suffered spinal injuries. Its aim is to advocate for ‘Spinal Cord Injury as a Distinctive Disability’ in the Rights of Persons with Disabilities Act 2016. Its mission is to establish a world-class Spinal Cord Injury Rehabilitation Center in Mumbai and to establish a registry to collect data on the number of spinal cord injured people.
“The cost of living with a spinal injury is 30,000 rupees a month. It is the most serious disability. We have no identity. We are a club. I get certified as a person with a mobility disability, if I do the government classification. Who formulates these policies here? Those who draft “These policies are disabled. India is the spinal injury capital. This is a separate category just like Parkinson’s disease and multiple sclerosis. But there is no data available. There is a lot of work to be done,” she said.
“We need scoop stretchers everywhere. Just like CPR, we need to learn about it. People hurt their spines during football games, dance performances, or even scrambles at religious events. Yet there is no awareness. As a country, we can’t Afford the costs of rehabilitation “Prevention is the key,” she said.
Dr. Mehta, who is part of the advocacy movement seeking an Indian health policy that includes the spine as an important factor, said, “The spine is the factor from which individual personality and spiritual life emerges. However, disability in the spine is not discussed.”
Group discussion
The panel discussion for the three-hour session was moderated by acclaimed filmmaker Paromita Vohra. The speakers are Srinidhi Raghavan, a feminist and educator; Dr. Ketna Mehta, Founding Founder, The Nina Foundation; Darshana Ramjiri, Content Creator; Zahra Gbogi, thematic storytelling leader at Point of View, a feminist nonprofit working with women, sexual and gender minorities, and people with disabilities; and Preeti Angie, an occupational therapist who works with Omid.
Gabuji, who produces content such as “Agents of Ishq” and “Pyaar Plus,” a sex kit, said women with disabilities “have the right to feel wanted and feel pleasure.” “It’s a representation of something big. It provides peer-to-peer connection. Normality limits exploration. There’s also fear of abuse and violence. There’s no play, fun. We think about sex, and sexuality in a very powerful, physical binary way. We break the cycle of disability and perception In the way we think about our bodies and our mental space, entering pleasure, play, fun, and talking about sexuality in a more direct way,” she said.
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