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(“Dear Students,” a fortnightly column that is a conversation with young minds about current events, books, popular culture—anything worth talking over a cup of coffee).
dear students,
I am writing today keeping in mind those who are going abroad for further studies. For many of you, this is the summer that will end summer in India, and you are preparing to spend a few years educating yourself abroad in cooler climes, especially in American, British, Canadian and Australian universities. You are looking forward to new adventures. Traveling abroad is a transformative experience, both professionally and personally. At least some of you will learn to cook the Dale and coding in Python, maybe at the same time.
Like you, I went abroad many years ago. Things have changed a lot since I moved abroad. Culturally, India and the rest of the world have come very close compared to my time. I look at the New York Times “young adult” literary bestseller list and I bet that as much as young adults read books in today’s world, they read the same kind of popular literature. But I also think you might be involved in some culture jerks and it might be useful to discuss a few here. This is a very personal list and defines the issues I know about. There is an abundance of generalizations below that will sound strange to some of you. Take what I say with a pinch of salt and a little bit of caution. Abroad, I usually mean the United Kingdom and the United States, the two countries where I have lived.
When you live abroad, you have to ask people about things. People in India tend to tell you things. On the outside, people tend to leave you alone. This is fine for the most part, but sometimes you won’t know what to do and have to ask. Don’t be afraid to ask people questions. What is the worst thing that can happen. You may sound silly for about two minutes. Or the other person might get a little annoyed with you. You can live with any of these situations. In my class, I always tell the students to ask me any question they want. Otherwise, the most fearful people don’t ask for anything at all.
Now, a warning for what I said before. Don’t bother people too much. In India, we are much more lenient with people who ask us about details and details. Please do not do this when you are traveling abroad. I’m not saying don’t ask them certain questions (see previous point). But a lot of detail that your Indian uncles would tolerate will infuriate them, especially if they think you could have saved yourself some time by doing some research. Please do your homework before asking questions.
When you’re abroad, you’ll come in contact with a trend that’s spread in India too, but not as much: people’s tendency to confuse confidence with competence. You will encounter some people, usually they are straightforward, loud, bombastic, and you will realize later that they are actually hiding their incompetence behind their confidence. It’s not entirely their fault because ecosystems that prioritize cognition over reality, verbal skills over written skills, and style over substance will embrace some of the people who will thrive in these conditions. They even elected a president whose only talent was absolute confidence in himself. Confidence isn’t a bad thing, but try to match reality with confidence.
The point about confidence brings me to a related point about motivation. You must be self motivated. Sometimes, in India, your parents, teachers, and bosses will push you. They may spend hours with you telling you different things (see my first point). You’ll probably find a little bit of this out there. What you will soon realize is that you are very much on your own. Unless you are self-motivated, you will accomplish very little.
Since there are Indians everywhere, you will tend to gravitate towards your fellow Indians abroad. Fellowship with overseas Indians is a wonderful source of belonging and support when you are alone in a foreign country. But please make an extra effort to make friends with the locals. For some of you this may be an unfamiliar experience, as we are spoiled in India and the idea of actually making an effort to meet people seems strange. A large part of your education abroad is your learning outside of the classroom and local friendships will be an integral part of that learning. But even apart from this, you will make some lifelong friends among the locals that will enrich your stay abroad for years to come.
Finally, despite India’s economic and political rise globally, people abroad, particularly in the United States, are generally ignorant of Indian culture and politics. Things are much better in the big cities but if you end up anywhere else you will have to get used to explaining the basics of your culture to the people you meet. do not worry about that. Think of it this way. If you are making fun of your dal, you can explain how dal is traditionally cooked in India. Nobody will bat an eyelid.
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