Naseeruddin Shah stands out among Bollywood actors for fearlessly speaking his mind both professionally and personally. The 72-year-old playwright hasn’t shied away from sharing his struggles, emotional or otherwise. in keeping with his nature, Shah recently recalled his complex relationship with his late fatherAli Muhammad. He also affirmed that he consciously seeks not to repeat the mistakes his father made with his children, but he cannot help but feel a barrier between them.

“(Dad and I), we couldn’t see eye to eye. He used to bore me when I was very young, so I was told. Then he lost his affection for me because I didn’t do well in school… He taught himself through high school and wanted so badly that his kids would have He had a good education. So he gave us the best education he could buy. Not that he was rich by any means, but he did spend a good portion of his salary to send us to a school in Nainital which he thought was good,” Shah recalled in an interview with Humans of Bombay.

“He couldn’t get to know me because there were three obsessions I had: theatre, cinema and cricket. The three he didn’t agree with. He was afraid of me trying to become a cricketer and I realized very early on that I couldn’t become a cricketer,” the actor added.

So acting was the only option left for me. He insisted I become a doctor, saying, ‘Your older brother is an engineer and the other is an army officer.’ Against his will, I went and trained. He could never understand what I was thinking, and he made his displeasure quite clear. She would comfort me whenever I had a quarrel with him. But she never understood me, though her love was unconditional. My father’s love was conditional. He didn’t disapprove of the things I did, nor approved of me, which is a mistake I try to avoid when dealing with my children.”

He said his father’s only concern was to be able to make a living, and in the end, he never saw any of his work. “I made one film which he saw and liked. Then I gave him 1,000 rupees of my payment. He was very pleased. Soon after that he died. We could never process this relationship and it still bothers me. I certainly don’t want that to happen to my children.”

Referring to his relationship with his children, Shah said he never wanted it to be anything like the way it was with his father.

“I wanted to be their friend. I want them to be able to give me a hug when they feel like it; or slap me on the back when they feel like it. However, it’s not really done that way and I don’t know why. I tried so hard not to make the same mistakes my dad did.” I enjoy their company and they also enjoy our company, which is an encouraging sign. I don’t know many children who would spend New Year’s Eve or Diwali with their parents; our children do. It means we did something right,” Shah added.

In a previous interview, he said that he was unable to attend his father’s funeral, but when he went to his grave, he could not contain himself. Shah He poured his heart out therenext to his father’s grave, and got a measure of closure.


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